Escape
by Athenian Affinity
Summary: Axel just wants to get some peaceful sleep, but midnight visitors refuse to leave him alone! Axel's POV rated for language.


_Author's Notes: Well, I've been meaning to do a Kingdom Hearts fanfic for quite some time, but I never really managed to get around to it until now. I think the inspiration was all the things that crawl occupying my bedroom last summer – and a toad situation outside! Funny but true. This fic is basically free of warnings except for some language, and a total lack of plot (it's more of the 'slice of life' variety, if indeed it has one at all). I'm putting the timeline for this to be before Roxas leaves the Organization._

**Escape**

"Ouch! Bugger off you little bastard!" I swat and my rapidly swelling, itching, reddening, sorry excuse for a hand connects with the wall beside my even sorrier excuse for a bed. I hold my breath and wait silently, just as any good hunter should. Is my big game dead? Am I truly the victor? A few more seconds of listening quietly in the dark gives me the answer I need.

No.

The buzzing continues edging ever nearer to my ear, and driving my closer and closer to going over that fine line labeled 'sanity', not that I ever gave that particular line much due respect.

Finally it stops. That infernal buzzing that was giving me a migraine and threatening me with a seizure, seized. That can only mean one thing…the bastard must be feeding on me right now!

I give myself a full body shake. It's something that only someone who knows the feeling of having a mosquito on you and not knowing where it is can truly appreciate. The silence is broken by loud buzzing which means I have interrupted the feast, and now maybe I'll just have a half-assed mosquito bite to show for it come morning. Who the hell knows where though, well as long as he didn't bite me there!

It really is no use fighting the son-of-a-bitch-mosquito. I've been at it for hours! Hours! And do you think I've had even a smidgeon of success? Nope, no way, I have squat for the plot of my success story! Now the real question is, just what do the bugs think they are even getting out of me exactly? Nobody juice? Essence of nothingness? It sure as hell isn't blood!

With only one good option left I grab my boring white pillow (the standard around here), and use it to its utmost potential – I stick it over my head. Oxygen is overrated anyways. Next I pull up the blankets and tuck them underneath the pillow, effectively making me safe from the 'something-suckers' wrath. Yes I am now a cozy, asphyxiated bundle of safeness, and it's actually really sad that I didn't think to do this sooner – live and learn I guess. I'm starting to get sleepy, (or is it just my oxygen deprived brain preparing for the dirt-nap?) either way, it is much better than dealing with Mr. Mosquito. And just as I'm starting to drift off to sleep (or die) someone decides to go and piss me off worse than the bugs. They will pay.

"Axel?"

Oh this is just what I need! "What?" I pull the pillow off my face and take in the sight in front of me, or at least what I can see of it in the dark. I squint. "Roxas?" It's him, and from what I can see it looks like he must have peed himself or something – only that would explain the shame.

"Something's in my room." Why yes, that just explains everything, or course it doesn't help that he's giving me his 'pampered princess eyes.' Seriously, they're disgusting! One day that kid is going to have to grow a set of the important ones. Sadly I know where this is leading – and I have an answer for it.

"No."

"Oh come on! Don't be such an ass, you have a double bed!"

Well the upside is that his big, watery, pathetic girly eyes are gone. The downside? Now they're replaced with glaring, stubborn vengeful ones, and there is no arguing with the kid when he has his mind set on something. He's a right pain in the neck.

I opened my mouth, and before I could tell him what a pansy he's being, I'm interrupted. I hate it when that happens.

And I'm pretty sure it's Demyx, wild eyed and panting in the middle of my bedroom. Jeez the guy should try and get some freaking exercise one day. His room is two doors down from mine and he's that winded? That's sad!

"Pack Rat! Pack Rat!"

Than again…

"Oh shit, where?" Roxas actually jumped onto the middle of my piece of crap bed, nearly breaking my legs in the process, but who really cares about a few broken bones. Me!

You want to know the real piss-off though? I didn't even have time to complain about Roxas lounging around on my bed before Demyx promptly joined him. What is this, 'Let's Sit On Axel Day?'

"It was this big, huge thing on my floor, eating my chips! It ate MY chips!" Demyx is waving his hands around theatrically, and I really have to resist the urge to set his hair on fire. I mean, what do you expect when you leave an open bag of chips on the floor in this place? Obviously something's going to eat them, and if it's not me then it'll be the resident pack rat for sure!

"Look you guys," I begin, trying to reason with insanity itself. "We've all got problems here. Me? I have a mosquito problem. You two have a pack rat running between your rooms, it's no biggie."

Apparently I reason badly. Very, very badly.

"What do you mean 'it's no biggie'?" Roxas was screeching and it didn't help his girly cause any. "It's a huge problem! This place is a hole with an infestation!"

Demyx nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah, if this place was a chick it would have every STD on the market. I mean what have we had so far? Mosquito's big enough to carry off small children, pack rats, mice, and what was it that Marluxia was bitching about?"

"Toads!"

Demyx looked like a light bulb had just gone on over his head. "Yeah, that was it – toads! Toads bothering you again dude? Maybe you should see a shrink, it's just an amphibian."

Marluxia was standing in the doorway. No, scratch that. He's making his way over to the bitch-fest party that's in full swing on my bed.

I really need to get a lock for that door.

"They were at it again, right outside my window! And you know what I found on my bed?"

"A toad?" I ventured. Hey, it's not a usual occurrence to find a toad on a bed, in fact I don't think it's ever happened before, but since it was Marluxia's bed it's all good.

"Yes, a toad. A huge, slimy, green sucker of an amphibian!" He was near panic mode, which made the whole thing funnier, that, and the fact that even I know that toads aren't all that slimy. Yes, some are green, but the one on his bed was probably a rolled up pair of socks he mistook for his brainless little phobia.

"Well that's nice, but shouldn't you be getting back to your room and all? Getting rid of the little green monster of a toad, watering your flowers and all that other crap you probably indulge in?"

He was actually considering what I just said like it was a request! Head cocked to the side, eyes squinted in thought, the whole nine yards! Maybe I didn't make it clear enough.

"Look man, get the hell out of my room. That goes for all of you." I glared at Demyx and Roxas as I said that, and you know what they did? They both simultaneously flipped me off.

So much for respecting authority. Kids these days, they just don't get it; I am not one to tick off in the middle of the freaking night!

"Get out or I'll make you get out! Got it memorized?"

"No." Was the unanimous reply, and in an uncanny imitation of surround sound to boot. How very annoying…

"Don't piss me off!"

Roxas looked me in the eyes and had the nerve to laugh, really loudly and without a trace of fear. "You're already pissed off, in fact, you are usually mad about something. Now if you really wanted to freak us out you would try being nice for a change. Maybe act all goody-goody, offer up your room, fetch us some junk food from the kitchen – that sort of thing."

He scooted up to where my comfortable flame themed blankets met the top of the mattress and proceeded to crawl in underneath them on the left of me. This unfortunately seemed to give the okay for Demyx to do the same on my right.

And then to really spite me Marluxia ripped the top blanket off of all three of us and curled up at the foot of MY bed with MY favorite blanket wrapped around himself.

That blanket has pictures of flames on it! _Flames! _Not daisies, or petunias, or roses for that matter, but FLAMES! And the flowerboy, with the floral Pajamas took it from me!

"Bzzz"

"Not again…" But it probably is my little friend back to feed on my non-existence, as that's _so very nourishing._

"Ouch. I think a mosquito bit me!" Roxas moved around a little near my side and scratched his arm frantically.

"Okay," I say at last, with a big grin on my face and the peace of mind I've been searching for all night. "I guess you guys can crash here for the night."

After all, that's three other nobodies the little bugger can feed from.

And I happen to like my odds.

_Fin_


End file.
